It has been a really long, frustrating, emotional, snowy and cold week. I find myself sitting here tonight alone with my thoughts. Every few minutes I look up to check on Danno, and then realize that he’s not here. I dropped him off with his pet sitter a few hours ago making this the first time since I can remember that I am truly by myself.
By nature I am an introvert, and kind of a loner. People ask me all the time about how I handle having a husband that travels all the time. My response is always the same, that it doesn’t bother me since I like my alone time and with Danno around, it keeps my busy. But it is hard, and with the puppy out of the house tonight, it feels kind of strange.
So I’m in classic Shawn mode tonight, binge watching Gilmore Girls for the millionth time. I pick up new parts each time that I either fell asleep during or just didn’t catch because they talk so fast! I just can’t help watching it over and over again though. There’s a part of me that dreams of living in a small town like Stars Hallow. And an even bigger part of me that wishes I could by nature be more like Lorelei Gilmore. Outgoing, confident, able to confront even the toughest events, saying exactly what you feel and think. Plus, I really want her clothes!
It’s just an escape for me each night though, a way to get away from all the thoughts I have running through my head. Today I actually started taking inventory of those thoughts, and it was pretty daunting. I tend to let it just build up until I boil over, so actually writing some of it down on paper helped. Danno and I also took a long walk around Chambers Bay before I dropped him off and I have to say it is a perfect place take deep breathes and ponder.
Just a few things running through my head tonight, thankfully I have a 2 hour flight early tomorrow morning to have some more time to write and think.